Can You Describe Yourself In 30 Words …
I recently turned fifty. There was something truly significant about this yet also quite simple. It was time to see the past as past and not in the present, a fifty year passage walked, sometimes crawled, sometimes skipped, sometimes barely hanging on and sometimes hanging on too tight. I appreciate laying the past to rest or seeing the past as behind us is easier for some and the notion that past means “gone by in time’ does not mean no longer existing.
I now find myself asking what next? I have a token bucket list. I have most of my ducks in a row (there’s a couple astray, let’s be honest), I have done most things I consider important to me or want to do.
Following a friend’s advice to step outside my comfort zone I did something I have not done before – I joined an online dating site for over fifties. I went through the sign up steps. Username, profile picture (kept it real), then it asked for a short bio. Describe yourself in thirty words or less, a few sentences describing myself. I must have rewritten and deleted my bio more than twenty times, far more than the selfies for the profile. After half an hour I was quite frustrated with my ego not producing the goods. Multiple changes trying to be amusing then decided to stick to the facts and not try so hard; average height, slight build, realist, secretly introverted, lover of family, books, music, the mountains, favourite colour, dogs over cats, extremely good dancer, hate coriander. Hit ACTIVE – welcome to a world of hits, blind knowing and screen attraction devoid of sensory perception and the micro communication skills we after fifty’s generally rely upon to engage.
There is such an astonishing lack of discernment and modesty in this type of online engagement it is both outrageous and freeing in the same moment. Embracing my new elderhood and trusting myself, I agree to one date. His bio after all read well. Wonder how long that took him to write? My date was well groomed, with a nice smile, an ambitious outlook and EIGHT hands. I took an early exit.
I learnt something new about myself though. I am in fact not daring and not good at online profiling. I went on one date and disliked it immensely. That is also not to say I wouldn’t try online dating again. Afterall, stretching outside our comfort zone is not about being courageous, but curious.
But here’s the realism in my story. I love my comfort zone. It’s a space for myself I have developed, a space I got to know myself in, feel safe in, make good choices from, where I go to self soothe and balance. Sometimes life will throw us out there whether we want it or not. I love that my comfort zone is familiar. I don’t need to change that foundation, rather build upon it.
I better not be wrong about my dancing though!
Being human with you,
Sandy
